Rubbing ta’weez over nude body?

Question: My wife was recently told that she is “affected”. We visited an Aamil and he gave her the following treatment: 1) ta’weez for water to drink once per day. 2) ta’weez to place in rose-water and sprinkle all over the house. 3) ta’weez (multiple photocopies) to rub over her whole “naked” body, and then to shower. This ta’weez she should burn. My question is: by knowing that a ta’weez contains a name/names of Allah (swt), and Quranic verses (and numerals based here-on), isn’t this disrespectful? Me and my wife are feeling very uncomfortable at this rubbing, so much so, that it has caused stress in our marriage. She is entering her period-time, does this mean she shouldn’t touch a ta’weez? Shouldn’t every ta’weez be handwritten (Hadith) instead of photocopied?, and shouldn’t the handwriting be flowing and neat? Sorry for having to ask you these questions, as the Aamil would not answer me, saying it’s not the right time for me to know and that the jinn would attack me. I am quite distressed and worried at his authenticity.

Answer: Ta’weez for water to drink is permissible. Ta’weez to place in rosewater and sprinkle is also valid. A woman in her periods may keep the ta’weez on her provided that it is wrapped or sewn in a cloth so that she will not directly touch it in case it has Qur’aanic verses written on the paper. Photocopies are also valid although, in our opinion, it is better to write the ta’weez by hand. It is also permissible to burn a ta’weez. We have strong reservations about rubbing the ta’weez on the naked body of the female if the ta’weez has Allah’s Name or Qur’aanic verses written on it. This item of the amal should not be practised. Tell the aamil to prepare something else instead of having to rub the naked body with the ta’weez on which is written Allah’s Name. If the ta’weez contains only numerals, then it may be rubbed on the naked body. May Allah Ta’ala grant the sister a complete cure. May He remove the misfortune/evil which is afflicting her. She should make dua in abundance and also recite the three Qul Surahs and Aayatul Kursi in abundfance. If Allah Ta’ala wills, He grants shifa without ta’weezez.   majlis ulema south africa

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Three talaaqs during haidh

Q. A man issued  three Talaaqs to his wife during her state of haidh. He is still living with her claiming that the Talaaqs are not valid  due to her haidh. Is he correct?

A. Despite it not being permissible to issue Talaaq during the state of haidh, the Talaaq is valid. Since he had issued three Talaaqs, the issue of reconciliation  does not develop. They can no longer reconcile. The marriage has finally and irrevocable ended.

majlis ulema -south africa

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50 things you need to know about marital relationships

As taught by Shaykh Waleed Basyouni, Fiqh of Love
1. Great relationships don’t just happen; they are created – you have to work on it
2. If your job gets your best energy, your marriage will wither – if you only come home tired and sick, your marriage is in danger
3. One of the greatest gifts you can give your spouse is your own happiness – your spouse cannot make you happy; don’t say that you married so that she’ll make me happy or he’ll make me happy – no one will make you happy unless you make yourself happy. Happiness comes from within, so if you have problems and are depressed, you have to change yourself, no one will change you
4. It’s possible to hate and love someone at the same time
5. When you complain about your spouse to your friends, remember that their feedback is based upon distorted information – they didn’t get your spouse’s take on the situation
6. The only rules in marriage are those to which you both choose to agree (this is true after the shari’ah of course)
7. It is not conflict that destroys marriages; it is the cold, smoldering resentment that is bred by withholding – the Prophet had problems in his own house but there was no coldness afterwards – that coldness will ruin it
8. It’s not what you have got; it’s what you do with it; it’s not your beauty or your wealth or your tongue (sweet talk), but it’s how you use it.
9. If you think you’re too good for your spouse think again- this is not healthy
10. Growing up in a happy family does not ensure a good marriage; and growing up in an unhappy family does not preclude having one – it’s how you make your own marriage – impt to know that 82% of physical abusers grew up in an abusive home themselves
11. It’s never too late to repair damaged trust
12. The real issue is usually not the one you are arguing about – in arguments you skip from one subject to another and you usually miss the point
a. When you have an argument, 1: listen, 2: tell them what you understand from the argument (reemphasize on the point) 3: reintroduce your point to make sure you’re on the same track
13. Love is not just a feeling but an action that shows
14. Expectations set us up for resentment
15. Arguments cannot be avoided but destructive ones can
16. One of the greatest gifts we can give our spouse is our focused attention
17. Even people with great marriages sometimes wonder whether they might have married the wrong person – don’t feel bad if this thought comes to you then, this happens in most marriages
18. Your spouse cannot rescue you from unhappiness, but they can help you to rescue yourself
19. The cost of a lie is far greater than any advantage you think you’ll gain
20. Your opinion is not the truth. – it’s an opinion!
21. Trust takes years to establish and moments to destroy
22. Guilt-tripping will not get you what you want – shaykh: anything he does for you from feeling guilty, that’s the worst thing for you; use a positive means instead of guilt, remind him of how good something was and that will motivate him to want to do it, making someone feel guilty motivates them in a wrong way; brothers don’t tell her “all my friends wives do this and that” rather say “that meal you cooked that day was SO GOOD”
23. Don’t neglect your friends just because you have acquired a spouse – husbands and wives both need a break
24. If you think, “you’re not the person I married”, you’re probably right – no one is the same person. When you marry, your personalities melt together and you develop a new personality.
25. Resisting the temptation to prove your point will win you a lot of points
26. The spirit of Generosity is the foundation of a great relationship
27. If your spouse is being defensive, you may be giving them reason to
28. Marriage is not 50/50, it’s 100/100 relaionship
29. You can pay now or you can pay later, but the later you pay, the more penalties and interest you acquire. – if you do something wrong, you’ll have to get her gifts and apologize, just pay now
30. Marriage does require sacrifice but what you stand to gain is no doubt greater than what you are giving
31. Forgiveness isn’t a one-time event, but a process
32. Marriage alone doesn’t make you a better person but accepting its challenges does
33. Creating a marriage is like launching a rocket: once it clears the pull of gravity it takes much less energy to sustain the flight
34. A successful marriage has more to do with how you deal with your current reality, than what you experienced in the past
35. Don’t keep feelings of gratitude to yourself – express your gratitude, tell him/her thank you, jazakAllaah khayr
36. There is no greater eloquence than the silence of real listening – be a good listener
37. One of the greatest questions you can ask your spouse is: how may I best love you?
38. Marriage may stay fresh over time
39. Assumptions are fine as long as you check them out before acting upon them
40. Intention may not be the only thing, but it is the most important thing
41. Good sex doesn’t necessarily make a marriage great, but sure helps
42. Privacy won’t hurt your marriage, but secrecy will. – don’t sneak and look in their wallet and check their email; you can look in their bag to look for keys or something but don’t make it a habit
43. Possessiveness and jealousy are born out of fear, not love
44. Authenticity is contagious and habit-forming
45. If your spouse thinks something is important, it is
46. Marriage never outgrows the need for romance, ever – even the Prophet in his 60s was romantic
47. The sparkle of a new relationship is always temporary
48. There is violence in silence when it’s used as a weapon – it can be a very killing weapon; it is VERY bad to give your spouse a bad look when they are very excited, you did something worse than saying something bad
49. It’s better to focus on what you can do to make things right than on what your partner did to make things wrong
50. If you think marriage counseling is too expensive, try divorce

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Should a woman change her name to her husband’s when she marries or keep her fathers/maiden name?

Question:
Should a woman change her name to her husband’s when she marries or keep her fathers/maiden name?

ANSWER:

ASSALAMU ALAIKUM

10 Safar 1431 (26-01-2010)

Respected Brother,
Your e-mail pertaining to the maiden name of a woman refers.
While there is no Shar’i incumbency for a woman to adopt the surname of her husband, it is not prohibited. There is also no Shar’i incumbency on a woman to go through a kaafir legal process and spend a large sum of money to have her adoptive (husband’s surname) changed.
In this era, more especially in non-Muslim countries where we live, a woman takes to her husband’s surname merely as a convenience in the same way as we make use of the Christian calendar. In fact, it is haraam to expunge the Islamic calendar. It is Waajib for Muslims to keep alive the Islamic calendar. Many important Shar’i masaa-il are linked to the Islamic calendar. Yet most Muslims even the anonymous author calling for the compulsory cancellation of the husband’s surname, do not use the Islamic dates.
Non-Arab Muslims all over the world from the very early epoch of Islam did not adopt the Arab custom of naming themselves , e.g. Abdullah Ibn Muhammad ibn so and so…, despite the fact that it was Rasulullah’s style and the style of the Sahaabah. There is no incumbency to adopt an Arab style which the Shariah does not impose on us.
If we are going to write only Islamic dates on cheques and other legal documents in the kuffaar country, it will create serious problems. Despite Islamic dates being Waajib, circumstances constrain us to adopt the Christian calendar. In a single city there may be 10 families, all having the same surname, e.g. Ahmad, since Ahmed was their father. In every Ahmed family there is a Maryam, Aisha, Faatimah, etc. Every Maryam thus is ‘Maryam Binti Ahmed’. We have therefore ten women with the name ‘Maryam Binti Ahmed’. Now when one of them dies, if it is announced only that Maryam Binti Ahmad has passed away, no one will know to whom the reference is made. Thus, circumstances constrain us to say: “The Maryam Binti Ahmed died who is the wife of Abdullah Qaasim. Instead of saying or writing on the notice board, ‘Maryam Binti Ahmed, the wife of Abdullah Qaasim, there is no Shar’i restriction to stating the same long sentence in an abbreviated form such as ‘Maryam Qaasim’. Everyone in the town/neighbourhood will know exactly who this particular Maryam who has died is.
Instead of each time when there is a need, to say “Aishah Binti Abdullah, the wife of Husain Patel”, the abbreviation, Aishah Patel is used. This merely conveys the information that Aishah is Husain Patel’s wife, and nothing more. If ‘Aishah’ Patel’ is haraam, then saying ‘Aishah is the wife of Husain Patel’ will likewise be haraam. But just as this is drivel, so too is the former drivel.
With regard to the wife adopting the husband’s surname, it was never ‘eagerness to copy the West’ which led to this. Copying the West on this issue is the furthest from the minds of Muslims, even modernist Muslims. Yes, dress-styles, eating from tables, with knives and forks, shaving the beard, kuffaar hair styles and many other practices which Muslims have adopted are undoubtedly in imitation of the kuffaar West, hence haraam.
It is a pity that the writer of the article has selected to remain anonymous. If he reveals himself then we could direct a number of questions to him to ascertain the degree of his adoption of western life styles. From the style of his writing and thinking it is almost certain that he is a Salafi. If so, then his permanent practice will be to strut around with a bare head in public. They don’t believe in Rasulullah’s headgear. Salafis have adopted the western haraam practice of shunning headgear. Another salient practice of almost all Salafis is to dress exactly like kuffaar with jeans, T-shirts and the like. While they turn a blind eye to such haraam, futile and destructive practices which they have copied from the West, they harp on non-issues which have been adopted for convenience without the intention of emulating the west.
It is not contended that Islam requires a woman to change her name at marriage. By the same token, Islam does not prohibit a woman from adopting her husband’s surname. The imagined prohibition is a figment of someone’s mind. While there may be “nothing in the Sunnah to indicate that a woman should take her husband’s name after she gets married”, there is also nothing in the Sunnah to indicate that we should ride or not ride in cars and planes, and use or not use phones and adopt and use or not the innumerable amenities and practices which have become part of life. Is there anything in the Sunnah to indicate that Muslims should not wear headgear and strut around in public with bear heads like the kuffaar?
The absence of an indication in the Sunnah is not a principle for prohibition. There are principles in Fiqah – in the Shariah – on which the ahkaam are formulated. Wildly fluctuating personal opinion has no share in formulating Shar’i rulings.
Adopting the husband’s surname was simply not a practice among the Arabs. This is not a basis for prohibition. The objector should produce a Shar’i daleel for prohibition.
When a woman adopts her husband’s surname, she is not concealing her lineage. She is not denying that a certain man is her father. The entire community is fully aware of her lineage. Her lineage is not lost by adopting her husband’s surname.
The Qur’aanic verse cited by the anonymous objector has no reference to a woman adopting her husband’s surname. It pertains to an adopted child. In this regard there is an imperative need to retain and publicize the adopted child’s surname to avoid confusion. If this is not done, the child could end up marrying his own sister or sister marrying her own brother. Since concealing the child’s lineage leads to confusion, deception and possible haraam, it is essential to declare the child’s lineage. But there is no such concealment and confusion in the case of a woman adopting her husband’s surname.
The adoption of the husband’s surname is not motivated by any idea of ‘honour’. It is simply an issue of convenience like the adoption of the Christian calendar, nor is it an expression of love as the objector reads into the issue.
While originally she is the daughter of so and so, we shall go further and say that she forever remains the daughter of so and so. But, at the same time she has become the wife of so and so. There is no prohibition in saying that she is the wife of so and so. This is the reality.
When her husband dies or she is divorced and marries another man, what Shar’i prohibition is there to prevent her from taking the new surname? This question of the objector is superfluous.
The rulings to which the objector refers, are not attached to her name as he alleges. The rulings are related to her physical being. Her name change brings no change to the rulings pertaining to inheritance, her mahram, etc. Everything remains exactly the same despite her assumption of her husband’s surname. It is palpably drivel to say that “taking her husband’s name overlooks all that”. It overlooks nothing at all.
The claim: “Besides, the husband has nothing that makes him better than his wife’s father.” , is erroneous. The husband has much which makes him better than her father with regard to her. After marriage, her greater obedience shifts from her parents to her husband. In relation to the wife, the husband has greater say and authority over her than her father. She is subservient to her husband to a far greater degree than to her father. Now when her entire being is subordinate to her husband, what wrong is there if her name too becomes subordinate to her husband? What Shar’i argument is there to prohibit the subordination of her name?
The fact that we shall be called by our father’s name in the Hereafter is no prohibition for adopting the husband’s surname. Some prohibited things in this world will become permissible in Jannat. And, some permissible things of the Hereafter are prohibited for us here in this world.
The argument of the objector is without merit. It is permissible for a woman to adopt her husband’s name. Such adoption is devoid of emulation of the West or any other haraam factor. And Allah knows best.
Was-salaam
A.S. Desai
For
Mujlisul Ulama of S.A..

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What is the minimum amount of mahr (dowry)?

Q: What is the minimum amount of mahr (dowry).
Kindly, specify in grams the mahr that was given to the wives of Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam)and to Hadhrat Fatima (Radhiallaahu Anha) by Hadhrat Ali (RadhiallaahuAnhu). It is a common practice during the Nikah ceremony to mention thedowry as mahr Faatimi only. Is that correct or must the amount be alsospecified?

A: The minimum mahr is ten Dirhams (approximately 31 grams of silver). The Mahr given to the wives of Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) was 500 Dirhams (approximately 1530 grams of silver). The Fuqaha differ in their opinions regarding the exact amount of mahr Faatimi. The majority of the Fuqahaa state that it is four hundred Mithqaal (approximately 1750 grams of silver). (Mirqat vol.6 Pg.246). If the dowry is given as mahr Faatimi, it must be specified (exact amount in Rands) at the time of the Nikah ceremony as the price of silver fluctuates .

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