Menstruation– a Taboo– The stupity of the kuffar

Below is an interesting article which shows once again the stupity of the kuffar regarding their ignorance and false religions.

I remember well how my mother welcomed my womanhood. Not well.

When I became a women through the natural system of haidh, still kafir then, I was scarred to death,  being then just 11 years old.

But due to the sexual filth education and growing up shamelessly , even to become a hypocritical atheist, gave some resources to read  and talk to fellow class mates and their mothers ,outside the home without having to tell your mother.

Gladly a class mate had her menses already and was told by the teacher (as it was right in the morning during class) to take me home to her to change clothe and to get everything i needed to take care of this situation

My dear mom, despite being western educated and HAVING had access to many medical related resources taught me the same NONSENSE.

Once I called my mother through the phone that IT came was very disappointed to feel and hear how she felt regarding me becoming a women now!

Never ever did she talk about this issue to me before to prepare me for this Event .

So I was kept literally in the dark and being embarrassed to be a girl and to become a women. I hated it.

She hated it, she verbally showed her disappointment and kept letting me know and feeling it. My class mates then, I remember told me how nicely their mothers embraced them  saying: Congrats , You are a young lady now.

NOT in our home. Me and her were the only females in our family.

For her now the times of cuteness and shameless clothing and letting her daughter run around naked, playing with boys were over.

Now she can get pregnant!!

So I , in “highly educated” Germany grew up believing my mother the same baqwas!

she taught me that I can never touch any living being, food, plants as II would poison it and transmit disease due to my menses. I was prohibited from taking a bath as the water will turn toxic. I should  feel ashamed etc…

literally stay away from others , plants, food , animals, public baths.etc..

But loh.

When i studied medicine to become a nurse and reading the so called teenage magazine “Bravo” I discovered the nonsense she believed in and taught me with conviction being right and me so stupid.

She had been raised by her catholic grandparents and attended catholic religious classes and turned so becoming an atheist witnessing all the idol worship of joseph and maria and the hate for women, girls, male dominance, etc.

Respect and mercy toward minors, women, elders is not shown in this false religion , as well as in others religions besides Islam.

My mother always complained how her catholic male teachers beat her up ( and other children) in front of the whole class pulling down the pants to hit with a can, or being hit on the finger tips while the hand were laid on the school desk..

So if church raises you this way inside and outside the school, than one does not have to wonder about many issues here.

It needed Islam to see the truth.

Only in Islam Women are elevated and seen as human beings having rights.

While in Christianity,Bhudism, Hinduism, Judaism Women and Girls are always seen as inferior, burden, being killed because of the sex, having no right of own living places, ownership,inheritance, right to speak…etc.

In fact in Christianity Women are processions of their fathers, husbands,

A husband can do whatever he intends to do with her , HE can sell her  she does not have a right to speak up, inherit , etc,

Islam on the other hand teaches us throgh the noble Prophet Muhammad , saalaaahu alyhi wa sallam, and  beloved mothers , Te Mothers Of The BELIEVERS  how wonderful girls and women are.

hen Aisha, radiallaahu anhu, had her menses and he , sallaahu alyhi wa sallam , requested her to comb his hair, she commented that she head menses and so was impure. So the master salaalaahu alayhi wa sallam stated simply: What. Do you bleed in your hands?

Ther are numerous narrations which showed how human Nabi , sallaaahu alayhi wa sallam, treated woman and girls and showed that they have a right to speak up, to inherit, have their own processions, can do jobs , can drink and eat from the same utensil, can share food and the nsame bed, can read books, touch etc…

Islam taught me how precious it is to be a woman, having girls and raise them, with intelligence and shame while learning myself to kick the myths  regarding the menstruation , which are in fact Jewish believes and conquered all then ignoramuses in the world,in the bin.

In the Jewish and christian belief( and others), one should check their books, women had to leave the homes and live near the forest or at least had to live  outside the home in a separate rooms when having their menses.

They were not allowed to interact with the rest of the society and had to kindle a fire or put a certain colored cloth as a flag out to signal that they were clean.

Women were not allowed to touch anything, not even to drink out the same utensil..etc..

I will post Insha Allah one day what their religions say in regards of all this…

<nyt_headline version=”1.0″ type=”

“>The Taboo of Menstruation

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By ROSE GEORGE

Sroop Sunar

Connect With Us on Twitter

For Op-Ed, follow@nytopinion and to hear from the editorial page editor, Andrew Rosenthal, follow@andyrNYT.

KHUSHI knew it was cancer. Ankita thought she was injured. None of the girls knew why they were suddenly bleeding, why their stomachs were “paining,” as Indian English has it. They cried and were terrified and then they asked their mothers. And their mothers said, you are normal. You are menstruating. You are a woman now.

But that is not all. The girls, whose names I’ve changed here for the sake of their privacy, were also told: when you menstruate, don’t cook food because you will pollute it. Don’t touch idols because you will defile them. Don’t handle pickles because they will go rotten with your touch.

Pickles, I asked Ankita? Yes, madam, she told me, in her schoolyard in rural Uttar Pradesh. My mother says it is so. Her mother believed it, and her mother before her. It must be true.

I read of another girl who said that her nail polish had spoiled because she had applied it during her period. She saw nothing weird about this.

I met Ankita and her peers in November, while accompanying a sanitation and hygiene carnival, the Great Wash Yatra, which has traveled a thousand miles across rural India. The aim of the Yatra, organized by a nonprofit called WASH United, is to spread the right messages about health and hygiene — do not defecate in the open, wash your hands with soap after the toilet and before eating — using singing, dancing, games and support from cricket players and Bollywood stars. The tactic works: all of its stalls have queues of men and boys waiting to play. All except one: a curtained tent, where only women are allowed.

This is the Menstrual Hygiene Management Lab, where girls and women can come to learn how to safely make and maintain cloth sanitary napkins (use clean cloth; dry it in the sun; iron it to remove moisture) as well as for something even more revolutionary: to talk frankly about periods.

The taboo of menstruation in India causes real harm. Women in some tribes are forced tolive in a cowshed throughout their periods. There are health issues, like infections caused by using dirty rags, and horror stories, like that of one girl who was too embarrassed to ask her mother for a clean cloth, and used one she found without knowing it had lizard eggs in it. According to one of the Yatra outreach workers, the subsequent infection meant her uterus had to be removed when she was 13. She would be forever tainted as a barren woman, so that whoever saw her first in the morning had to take a bath to wash her stain away.

But beyond superstition and discrimination, many Indian women face the straightforward lack of clean, safe lavatory facilities. Back in my high school in England, we may have been embarrassed by our periods, as most girls are, but we had clean bathroom stalls in which to change our sanitary pads in privacy, and trash bins in which to throw them.

Many students in India, where around 650 million people still lack toilets, can’t say the same. Most schools I visited had filthy latrines, used only because there was no alternative. Some had none at all. Students and teachers made do with fields and back alleys.

Concentrating on lessons when you are desperate for the bathroom is hard on anyone. It’s nearly impossible for a girl who is menstruating and has nowhere to change or dispose of her pad. Girls grow tired of dealing with it. Often their families encourage them to stay home from school and get married. In one survey, 23 percent of Indian school-age girls dropped out of school when they reached puberty.

“Girls suffer if they aren’t empowered to manage their menstrual cycle without pain and shame each month,” said Chris Williams, the executive director of the Water Supply and Sanitation Collaborative Council, which runs the Menstrual Hygiene Management Lab. “Their health, schooling and dignity are in the balance.” And the world suffers, too: educated women are healthier, have smaller families, often earn more and have a positive impact on development.

It can take years, even generations, to change a taboo. But anecdotally, outreach workers note that the only girls who don’t believe the superstitions about menstruation are those with educated mothers. So the best way to change the minds of future women is to keep girls in school today, and basic lavatory facilities are one of the easiest ways to do that.

Back in Ankita’s schoolyard, something revolutionary was happening. Although many male teachers in rural India are terrified that broaching the subject of menstruation will be considered inappropriate or worse, one of Ankita’s teachers was different. After attending a Yatra outreach session, he used 200 rupees (less than $4) of his own money to turn a disused latrine into a simple incinerator, which girls could use to burn their dirty cloths.

It isn’t perfect: girls still face the embarrassment of going to the incinerator with everyone knowing why. But this rudimentary construction, with its vent made from a discarded well-water pump, could have huge consequences. Not only could it bring educational salvation to Ankita and her classmates, but a better future for generations to come.

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Rose George is the author of “The Big Necessity: The Unmentionable World of Human Waste and Why It Matters.”

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MUSLIM women not leaving the house

It is reported from Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (radhiyallahu anhu) that Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) while addressing his Mubarak wives on the occasion of Hajjatul Wadaa said: “After this (the rites of Hajj) remain in your homes (i.e. do not leave your homes without a valid need).” Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (radhiyallahu anhu) mentions that it was on account of this statement of Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) that Hadhrat Zainab binte Jahsh and Saudah (radhiyallahu anhuma) never left their homes for even nafl Hajj (though the other Azwaaj-e-Mutahharaat performed nafl Hajj). Hadhrat Zainab and Saudah (radhiyallahu anhuma) would say: “After hearing this from Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam), we never mounted a conveyance thereafter.”

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When was Salaah made compulsory on Khadijah

When was Salaah made compulsory

Q: I heard that Bibi Khadija the wife of Nabi S.A.W died befor making any Salaah. Was salaah at that time compulsory or not? If yes then when was salaah made waajib?

A: Hadhrat Khadija (Radiyallahu Anha) passed away before the five daily Salaah became fardh (compulsory). However prior to the five daily Salaah becoming fardh, Salaah was performed at two times, morning and evening. Hadhrat Khadija (Radiyallahu Anha) did perform this Salaah with Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam).

فائدة ذهب جماعة إلى أنه لم يكن قبل الإسراء صلاة مفروضة الا ما كان وقع الأمر به من صلاة الليل من غير تحديد وذهب الحربي إلى أن الصلاة كانت مفروضة ركعتين بالغداة وركعتين بالعشي وذكر الشافعي عن بعض أهل العلم إن صلاة الليل كانت مفروضة ثم نسخت بقوله تعالى فاقرءوا ما تيسر منه فصار الفرض قيام بعض الليل ثم نسخ ذلك بالصلوات الخمس واستنكر محمد بن نصر المروزي ذلك وقال الآية تدل على إن قوله تعالى فاقرءوا ما تيسر منه إنما نزل بالمدينة لقوله تعالى فيها وآخرون يقاتلون في سبيل الله والقتال إنما وقع بالمدينة لا بمكة والإسراء كان بمكة قبل ذلك أه وما استدل به غير واضح لأن قوله تعالى علم أن سيكون ظاهر في الاستقبال فكأنه سبحانه وتعالى أمتن عليهم بتعجيل التخفيف قبل وجود المشقة التي علم أنها ستقع لهم والله أعلم (فتح الباري 1/554)

وقال ابن إسحاق: وكانت خديجة أول من آمن بالله ورسوله، وصدق بما جاء به.

ثم أن جبريل أتى رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم [ وهو بأعلى مكة ] (1) حين افترضت عليه الصلاة فهمز له بعقبه في ناحية الوادي، فانفجرت له عين من ماء زمزم (2)، فتوضأ جبريل ومحمد عليهما السلام، ثم صلى (3) ركعتين وسجد أربع سجدات، ثم رجع النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم وقد أقر الله عينه، وطابت نفسه، وجاءه ما يحب من الله، فأخذ يد خديجة حتى أتى بها إلى العين، فتوضأ كما توضأ جبريل، ثم ركع ركعتين وأربع سجدات، ثم كان هو وخديجة يصليان سرا (4).

قلت: صلاة جبريل هذه غير الصلاة التي صلاها به عند البيت مرتين، فبين له أوقات الصلوات الخمس، أولها وآخرها، فإن ذلك كان بعد فرضيها ليلة الاسراء، وسيأتي بيان ذلك إن شاء الله وبه الثقة، وعليه التكلان

فصل أول من أسلم من متقدمي الاسلام والصحابة وغيرهم قال ابن إسحاق: ثم إن علي بن أبي طالب – رضي الله عنه – جاء بعد ذلك بيوم وهما يصليان.

فقال علي يا محمد ما هذا ؟ قال دين الله الذي اصطفى لنفسه، وبعث به رسله، فأدعوك إلى الله وحده لا شريك له، وإلى عبادته. وأن تكفر باللات والعزى. فقال علي: هذا أمر لم أسمع به قبل اليوم، فلست بقاض أمرا حتى أحدث به أبا طالب. فكره رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم أن يفشي عليه سره قبل أن يستعلن أمره. فقال له: يا علي إذا لم تسلم فاكتم. فمكث علي تلك الليلة، ثم إن الله أوقع في قلب علي الاسلام، فأصبح غاديا إلى رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم حتى جاءه فقال ماذا عرضت علي يا محمد ؟ فقال. له رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: ” تشهد أن لا إله إلا الله وحده لا شريك له وتكفر بالات والعزى، وتبرأ من الانداد ” ففعل علي وأسلم، ومكث يأتيه على خوف من أبي طالب وكتم علي إسلامه ولم يظهره، وأسلم ابن حارثة – يعني زيدا – فمكثا قريبا من شهر يختلف علي إلى رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم، وكان مما أنعم الله به على علي أنه كان في حجر رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قبل الاسلام (البداية والنهاية 3/23)

Answered by:

Mufti Zakaria Makada

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Khadijah bint Khuwaylid (radhiyallahu anha)

Khadijah, may Allah be pleased with her, came from a noble family. Her father Khuwaylid had been one of the most honored leaders of their tribe until he was killed in battle. Her husband had also died, leaving her a very wealthy woman. When Muhammad (peace be upon him) was still a young man, she entrusted him with some of her wealth, asking him to trade with it in Syria on her behalf. He was already well known for his honesty, truthfulness and trustworthiness. He returned from Syria after having made a large profit for Khadijah.

After hearing his account of the journey, she decided that he would make the best of the husbands, even though many of the most important nobles of the Quraish had already proposed to her and had been refused, and in due course she proposed to him. After the Prophet’s uncle, Abu Talib, had given the proposed marriage his blessing, Muhammad and Khadijah were married. At the time of the marriage, the Prophet was twenty-five years old, while Khadijah was forty years old.

 For the next fifteen years they lived happily together, and Khadijah bore several children. Their first child, a son whom they named Qasim, died when he was only two years old. Two more sons, called Tayyib and Tahir, were also born, but they too died in their infancy. However, Muhammad and Khadijah also had four daughters who survived: Zaynab, Ruqayya, Umm Kulthum and Fatima.

No one except Allah of course, knows more about a man than his wife, both his good and his bad qualities, his strengths and his weaknesses. The more Khadijah came to know about her husband, the more she loved and respected him. Everyone in Makka called him ‘al-Amin’, which means ‘the trustworthy one’, and she, more than anyone else, knew how fitting this name was. It became Muhammad’s custom each year to spend the month of Ramadan in seclusion and reflection in a cave on the mountain of Hira, which is on the outskirts of Makka. Khadijah would always make sure that he was provided with food and drink during his retreat. Towards the end of one Ramadan, when he was forty and Khadijah fifty-five, Muhammad suddenly appeared at their house in the middle of the night, trembling with fear and saying, “Cover me up, cover me up!”

Khadijah was very alarmed to see him in such a state. Quickly she wrapped a blanket around his shoulders and, when he had calmed down, she asked him to describe exactly what had happened. He told her how a being whom he had never seen before – in fact it was the angel Jibril – had suddenly appeared to him while he was asleep and had said, “Read!”

“But I cannot read,” he had replied, for he was unlettered and could neither read or write. “Read!” the angel had repeated, clasping Muhammad close to his chest. “I cannot read,” he had repeated. “Read!” the angel had repeated, firmly embracing him yet again. “What shall I read?” he had asked in desperation, and the angel had replied:

Read, in the Name of your Lord who created, created man from a clot, Read, and your Lord is the Most Gracious, Who taught with the pen, taught man what he did not know. (Quran 96:1-5)

Although Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) did not fully realize it at the time, this was the beginning of the revelation of the Qur’an; but in that first encounter with the angel Jibril, Muhammad was very frightened, for he did not know who the angel Jibril was or what was happening. He woke up and ran out of the cave only to find Jibril still in front of him, and whenever he turned away from him, there Jibril was in front of him yet again, filling the horizon with his mighty yet beautiful form.

“Oh Muhammad,” said Jibril eventually, “you are the Messenger of Allah and I am Jibril,” and with these words he disappeared from Muhammad’s sight.

After the angel had disappeared Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) had clambered down the mountain as fast as he could run, not knowing if he was going mad and imagining things, or if he had been possessed by one of the jinn.

As she listened to Muhammad’s words, Khadijah did not share any of these fears. She realized that something tremendous and awe-inspiring had happened to her husband, and she was certain, knowing him as she did, that he was neither mad nor possessed. “Do not worry,” she said, “for by Him who has dominion over Khadijah’s soul, I hope that you are the Prophet of this nation. Allah would never humiliate you, for you are good to your relatives, you are true to your word, you help those who are in need, you support the weak, you feed the guest and you answer the call of those who are in distress.”

When Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) as a little more relaxed, Khadijah took him to see her cousin, Waraqa ibn Nawfal, for he was a man of knowledge, and she was sure that he would be able to explain the meaning of what had just happened to her beloved husband. Waraqa had studied the books of both the Jews and the Christians very closely and he had learned a great deal from many of their wisest people. He knew that the coming of another Prophet had been foretold by both Moses and Jesus, peace be on them, anhe knew many of the signs that would confirm the identity of this Prophet when he appeared.

After listening closely to his story, Waraqa, who was both old and blind, exclaimed, “This is the same being who brought the revelations of Allah to Moses. I wish I was young and could be alive whyour people will drive you out.”

“Will they drive me out?” asked Muhammad.

“Yes,” replied Waraqa. “No one has come with what you have been given without being treated with enmity; and if I were to live until the day when you are turned out, then I would support you with all my might. Let me just feel your back.” So, saying, Waraqa felt between the Prophet’s shoulder-blades and found what he was feeling for: a small round, slightly raised irregularity in the skin, about the size of a pigeon’s egg. This was yet another of the many signs that Waraqa already knew would indicate the identity of the next Prophet after Jesus, (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him).

“This is the Seal of the Prophethood!” he exclaimed. “Now I am certain that you are indeed the Prophet whose coming was foretold in the Torah that was revealed to Moses and in the Injil that was revealed to Jesus, (pbut) You are indeed the Messenger of Allah, and the being who appeared to you on the mountain was indeed the angel Jibril!”

Khadijah as both overjoyed and awed to find that her understanding of what had happened on the mountain had been confirmed. Not long after this incident, Muhammad was commanded in a subsequent revelation from Allah, through the angel Jibril, to call people to worship Allah only, and it was at this point that Khadijah did not hesitate in expressing in public what she had now known for certain in secret for some time: ” I bear witness that there is no god except Allah,” she said, “and I bear witness that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah.”

In the years that followed, difficult years in which the leaders of the Quraish did everything in their power to stop the Prophet spreading his message, Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her) was a constant source of help and comfort to Muhammad (peace be upon him) in the difficulties which he had to face. All her wealth was spent in the way of Allah, helping to spread the message of her husband, helping to free slaves who had embraced Islam, and helping to feed and shelter the community of Muslims that slowly but surely began to grow in numbers and strength.

The Quraish were infuriated by the Prophet’s success and did everything in their power to discourage both him and his followers, often inflicting awful tortures on them, but without success. The situation became so bad that the Prophet told some of his followers to go to Abyssinia, where their ruler, the Negus, who was a sincere Christian gave them shelter and protection. Eventually there came a time when, as Waraqa had foretold, Muhammad and his followers -along with all the members of his tribe, the Banu Hashim were driven out of the city of Mecca and forced to camp out in a small ravine in the mountains nearby. This happened long after Waraqa had died, and about seven years after that extraordinary night of power in which Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) had received the first revelation of Quran through the angel Jibril. There, while their homes lay empty in Mecca, the Muslims were exposed to the bitterly cold nights of winter and the fiery hot days of summer, with very little food and shelter. No one would buy and sell with the Muslims, or allow their sons and daughters to marry any of them. Fortunately those who secretly sympathized with the Muslims would send what food they could to them whenever the chance arose, sometimes by loading provisions onto a camel or a horse and then sending it off at a gallop in the direction of the camp, hoping that the animal would not stop or get lost before it reached its intended destination.

For three years the small Muslim community lived a life of hardship and deprivation, but although they suffered from hunger and thirst, and from exposure to heat and cold, this was a time in which the hearts of the first Muslims were both purified and also filled with the light of knowledge and wisdom. The Muslims knew that they were following the truth, and so nothing else mattered. They did not care what the Quraish did to them or said about them. Allah and His Messenger were enough for them!

It was during this period that the Muslims who had sought shelter in Abyssinia returned, only to find the situation even worse than when they had left it. Not long after, many of them returned to Abyssinia, their numbers swelled by those whom the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) had told to accompany them. Finally the boycott was lifted and the Muslims were allowed to re enter the city; but the three years of hardship had taken their toll. First of all the Prophet’s uncle, Abu Talib, who was by then more than eighty years old, died; and then a few months later, during the month of Ramadan, Khadijah also died, at the age of sixty-five, may Allah be pleased with her. The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) mourned her deeply. They had shared twenty-five years of marriage together and she had given birth to five of his children. Only one of the Prophet’s future wives, Maria the Copt, would give him another child, Ibrahim, and he, like Qasim, was destined to die when he was still very young, at the age of eighteen months.

Khadijah had been the first to publicly accept Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) as the Messenger of Allah, and she had never stopped doing all she could to help him. Love and mercy had grown between them, increasing in quality and depth as the years passed by, and not even death could take this love away. The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) never stopped loving Khadijah, and although he married several more wives in later years and loved them all, it is clear that Khadijah always had a special place in his heart. Indeed whenever ‘Aisha, his third wife, heard the Prophet speak of Khadijah, or saw him sending food to Khadijah’s old friends and relatives, she could not help feeling jealous of her, because of the love that the Prophet still had for her.

Once Aisha asked him if Khadijah had been the only woman worthy of his love. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) replied: “She believed in me when no one else did; she accepted Islam when people rejected me; and she helped and comforted me when there was no one else to lend me a helping hand.” It had been related by Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) that on one occasion, when Khadijah was still alive, Jibril came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and said, “O Messenger of Allah, Khadijah is just coming with a bowl of soup (or food or drink) for you. When she comes to you, give her greetings of peace from her Lord and from me, and give her the good news of a palace of jewels in the Garden, where there will be neither any noise nor any tiredness.” After the Prophet’s uncle, Abu Talib, and his first wife, Khadijah, had both died in the same year, the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and his small community of believers endured a time of great hardship and persecution at the hands of the Quraish. Indeed the Prophet, who was now fifty years old, name this year ‘the Year of Sorrow.’

In private his dearest wife was no longer present to share his life; and in public the insults that he received from the Quraish multiplied, now that he had no longer had the protection of his dead uncle. Even when he journeyed to Ta’if, a small city up in the mountains outside Mecca, to call its people to worship Allah, he was rejected and stoned by them. It has been related by Aisha that on his way back to Mecca, Jibril appeared to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and said, “Allah, may He be exalted and glorified, has heard what the people have said to you and how they have responded to your invitation, and he has sent the angel in charge of the mountains so that you can tell him what you want him to with them.” Then the angel in charge of the mountains called out to him and greeted him and said, “O Muhammad, Allah has listened to what your people have said to you. I am the angel in charge of the mountains, and your Lord has sent me so that you can order me to do whatever you want. If you wish, I can bring the mountain of the outskirts of Mecca together so that they are crushed between them.” But the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to him, “Rather I hope that Allah will make their descendants a people who will worship Allah alone, without ascribing any partners to him.”

It was a while after this that tfollowing Surah was revealed:

In the name of Allah, the Merciful, the Compassionate

By the morning hours, and by the night when it is stillest, Your Lord has not forsake you nor does He hate you, And truly what comes after will be better for you than what has come before, And truly your Lord will give to you so that you will be content. Did he not find you an orphan and protect you? Did he not find you wandering and guide you? Did he not find you destitute and enrich you? So do not oppress the orphan, And do not drive the beggar away, And speak about the blessings of Your Lord. (Quran 93:1-11)

And so it happened. After three years of constant struggle, a relative of his, called Khawla, went to him and pointed out that his house was sadly neglected and that his daughters needed a mother to look after them. “But who can take the place of Khadijah?” he asked. “Aisha, the daughter of Abu Bakr, the dearest of people to you,” she answered. Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him) had been the first man to accept Islam and he was the Prophet’s closest companion. Like Khadijah, he had done all that he could do to help the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), and had spent all his wealth in the way of Allah. However, while the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was now fifty-three years old, Aisha as only a little girl of seven. She was hardly in a position to look after either the Prophet’s household or children. “She is very young.” Replied the Prophet. Khawla had a solution for everything. She suggested that he marry at the same time a lady called Sawda, the widow of Al-Sakran ibn ‘Amr.

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A good husband in Islam

27 Jamadul-Ukhra 1433

18th May 2012

The Jumu’ah Naseehat

Bismillahir – Rahmaanir- Raheem

The Noble Husband (Part One)

All praises are due only unto Allah, Most High. Durood and Salaams be upon Sayadina Muhammed Sallallahu alyhi wasallam.

When asked about the behaviour of the Holy Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wasallam, Hadhrat ‘A’ishah radiallahu anha is reported to have replied: “He excelled all men in gentle speech, smiling countenance and cheerful temperament.” (Sahih Muslim Mawahib-ud-Dunya. Vol.1, p.293)

Only those who want true peace and tranquillity in their lives will appreciate the conduct of Nabi Sallallahu alaihi wasallam. Only those who have a deep yearning for meeting Allah Ta’ala will make a serious attempt to emulate Nabi Sallallahu alaihi wasallam. Only those who Fear the Great Reckoning of Qiyamah, will heed of the advice of Nabi Sallallahu alaihi wasallam. And only those whose hearts have been watered with the Thikr of Allah, Most High, will bear the fruits of the advices of Nabi Sallallahu alaihi wasallam.

Did Allah, Most High not inform us that:

“Verily in the messenger of Allah you have a good example for those who yearn for Allah and the last Day, and remember Allah much.” (Holy Qur’an 33 : 21)

One divorce is too much. One confused child is a conscience on the entire Ummah. The grief of one old-aged parent peels away the serene sleep of men who care.

Just as Nikaah is cemented by the words “Qabil-tuha” (I have accepted her), so too is a nikaah wrecked by the words: “I have given you Talaaq etc.”

One is a glorious moment of acceptance; the other is an awful moment of abject rejection. Indeed, if ever a few words do change the tides of destiny, they are the words of Nikaah and Talaaq. Is it any wonder then when a Nikaah is performed, of the three Aayat that are recited, one pertains to speech. Thus, the groom is appropriately reminded of Allah’s command:

“O believers fear Allah and speak righteously”

The groom is exhorted to speak correctly, gently, tenderly and kindly so that his marriage may survive the tricks and traps of Shaytaan, the ebb and flow of difficulties and trials, and the somewhat unpredictable nature of his spouse.

Nabi Sallallahu alaihi wasallam has not compared a woman to glass (in fragility) for nothing. The hammer of harsh speech will crack the glass and all that eventually remain will be the shattered pieces which will pierce the joy of living until death.

Ask any wife how her heart burns and cries when her husband uses rough, demeaning and hurtful words when addressing her. Ask any wife how her heart feels when her husband screams, shouts and bellows at her. Ask any wife how she feels when she is blamed endlessly and ridiculed continuously and insulted incessantly. The husband feels he is at liberty to speak as he pleases when annoyed.

And yet, look at the noble conduct of the person whose Prophet hood we bear witness to in Athaan, Iqamah, in Salaah and in the very basic Shaahadah of our Imaan.

Gentle speech: The first quality described by Hadhrat ‘A’ishah radiallahu anha in the Hadith quoted is the gentle speech of Nabi Sallallahu alaihi wasallam.

He (Sallallahu alaihi wasallam) was gentle, o yes, so gentle was that he never raised his voice nor screamed at any of his wives – this despite them at times offending him. Sometimes they wanted a larger stipend, at other times they gave vent to their jealousy due to their immense love for him. He saw, he listened and he smiled…again and again and again. They tired but not he – this man, Muhammed Sallallahu alaihi wasallam. Is it any wonder that the angles sent send Durood and Salaams upon him until the Day of Qiyamah!

Nabi Sallallahu alaihi wasallam rightfully expected the Ummah to follow his example. He feared the Ummah oppressing their wives.

Thus, in his farewell message, he advised and reminded all the husbands:

“0 People! Fear Allah with regard to your wives. You have taken them into your possession with the permission of Allah.”

In short, what was he saying? He (Sallallahu alaihi wasallam) was saying that if you abuse your wife, it is a sign that you do not fear Allah. If you speak harshly and inconsiderately to her, it is a sign that you do not fear Allah. A husband who fears Allah will speak kindly to his wife. A husband who fears Allah will speak gently to his wife. A husband who fears Allah, will converse with tenderness with his wife. No matter what the situation may be, there simply is no licence for a Muslim husband to wield the sword of the tongue on the heart of a wife.

For a Muslim, a true Muslim, understands that he has only taken possession of his wife with Allah’s permission. For a true Muslim knows, that she and her heart are an Amaanah of Allah. And for a true Muslim understands that he will not live forever and Allah Most High, unto whom he will return, will most certainly question him with regards to His Amaanah. She went into his temporary possession with the permission of Allah, he did not own her, he was merely supposed to be a keeper.

How strange is it not that with his friends the husband is as calm as a pond, but with his wife he is a raging angry ocean. How strange is it not that with his friends he is a mountain of tolerance but with his wife, he is as furious as a wounded lion. How strange is it not that with his friends he is as kind as a kitten but with the one that bore him his children he is as cruel as a bitter cucumber.

Gentle speech: a few kind words; a tender tone; a soft pitch – So precious, yet treated so worthless. So important, yet so neglected. So simple, yet so rare. Even a dog does not like to be shouted at. Gentle speech indicates concern, it gives of a fragrance of care, it is the sign of a compassionate heart, it is the glue of love. When there is no compassion in speech from where will the heart find its radiance to glow with love. Where will a marriage succeed?

(Insha-Allah, after the next issue of the noble husband, we will deal with the subject of the noble wife)

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